dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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