Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
