I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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