I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
