Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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