No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
