And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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