Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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