I have demons in me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Drunk is a universal language darling
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
