the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
