you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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