Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize