Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
