Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize