I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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