i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
