I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
