ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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