she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
