And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
barbara walters just said penis...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
