is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's shark week go big or go home
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
