If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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