Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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