Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
