I need help removing her.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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