I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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