i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
