Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
