He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
