I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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