I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
