I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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