We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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