I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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