planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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