Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
