He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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