Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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