At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
how drunk are you?
Several
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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