I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize
