so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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