TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
