You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Then you guys just all showered together...?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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