I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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