also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
