Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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