spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize