Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
