I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
