She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
