Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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