That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
