with your own penis?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
