im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize